I am noticing people are continuing to struggle, including myself with the seemingly endless bad news: hurricanes, COVID-19, masks, unemployment.
So, to take your mind off of that, I thought I would ask a question: What do you believe in?
The quote from John Lewis in this week’s newsletter email, while honoring John Lewis and his personal struggle, can also be applied to you:
Everyone has an inner struggle and there is great value in investigating what yours might be.
This quote made me speculate on my personal struggles and then it occurred to me to consider whether or not I have ever gotten into “good trouble” for standing up for what is right or for what I believe to be just. I thought about how the spiritual path I have chosen is difficult and what a struggle it can be. I remembered how hard it was for me to understand to expect life to be a struggle. Expect that. All external change occurs internally in the individual first.
I often say this to clients and is attributed to the Buddha: There is necessary suffering and unnecessary suffering and our job is to discern the difference.
John Lewis’ struggle was necessary for his own personal well-being and for the Civil Rights Movement. John Lewis made a difference by his external actions, but what does it take internally to be willing to do that. I believe that John Lewis must have done much personal, spiritual work to be able to make a stand for his beliefs. Many times, I notice that people perceive that personal, spiritual, emotional, and/or mental work is a struggle or it is not worth the trouble and they don’t do it. Avoidance is the enemy. Speaking your truth can cause trouble, but it can be good trouble.
If you are causing good trouble, you are getting oxytocin because you are connecting. Continuing to develop yourself mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically is a way to generate oxytocin.
Another way to generate oxytocin is to make a connection with people. A willingness to do a self-investigation can create good trouble for you. It can deepen your relationship with yourself and your relationship with others and that also creates oxytocin. Look for opportunities to connect with people in more meaningful ways. A healthy debate where you are open to other views and willing to hear someone else’s perspective creates oxytocin. Interaction, eye contact, even hugging can make you feel connected, even bonded to humanity. Think about someone you respect that has spoken up and brought to light an injustice. This can also create oxytocin.
Something I suggest is to use the essential oil, cardamom. I carry the bottle with me and smell it throughout the day. You can use a diffuser to put the smell out in the room. A teacher of mine that visited Bhutan related a story to me that on his visit he noticed that many people chew the cardamom pods to feel uplifted. Bhutan is known for its level of happiness amongst people.
Just notice whether the smell of cardamom makes a subtle difference for you. Most of my clients say that it does. It seems there is a connection to feeling happier and more connected to people with cardamom which also can be a precursor to the release oxytocin.
Do something that you feel is good trouble for you.
Write something, peacefully protest, discuss your views with friends on zoom or with social distance and a mask, or volunteer. You could, like we did, adopt a shelter pet:
You could also safely get together with friends to respectfully discuss current issues. Luckily, there are many of them out there at this time. Everyone doesn’t have to agree, it is about the connection–increasing your oxytocin.
You can ask your partner what they perceive you have been avoiding. A healthy discussion might be good trouble.
The good trouble is finding a place within yourself that needs to change and working toward making it change.
